My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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