The maid of honor just puked.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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