Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have aggressive nipples.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
