Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
