I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we made out on top of his cat.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
