that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
