no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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