people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
