so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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