my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Someone shattered a urinal.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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