Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
