Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
