I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize