Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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