I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
