Sponge bath it is.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
