...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
