i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
