never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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