People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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