Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
