i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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