I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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