Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You can't special order awesome
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
