Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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