Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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