How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
