you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
