its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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