Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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