why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
