Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
