smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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