end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I want a musical about memes.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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