i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
