I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
