I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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