so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
