I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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