You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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