What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
