Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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