ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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