I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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