At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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