OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
