My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
