Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
