I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
