Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
