There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize