You made me cry and you don't even care
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
