Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
