just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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