y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i believe in u and ur pee
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
