Kiss
Puke
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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