Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
