I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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