Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
